I found this story on Quora, it is quite a nice one.

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.


That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

It would be fun to try out, but I would get someone else to do it.

Another one stolen from Quora.

2 females were chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I went home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I went home, there was no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took my wife out for dinner which was so expensive that we didn't had money left to hire a cab.
We walked home which took an hour & when we got home we remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!

Is your sig a MGS 4 reference?

Awesome. I can't view that picture, do you have the link for it?

Oh, okay lol. Looks like the electrics/hardware store where I live lol.