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    • Quasi-duck wrote:

      Say the acronym, sound like you don't know what you are saying.


      UUU.

      Whether pronounced as "you you you" or just one long "ooh", I think it makes the point, nicely. But have you tried to purse your lips and just say "union" three times in a row really fast? Try it right now...and don't stop at three times.

      ~

      Display Spoiler

      union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union
      union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union
      union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union
      union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union
      union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union union
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3
    • Swiss Juggernaut on the Move

      13:20 hours, New York time.

      Germany is in peril, today, as the Alpine Commandos of Switzerland continue their retaliatory assault into the Rhineland. German soldiers -- fresh from the Reichstag boot camps -- seem to be completely ineffective against the marauding hoard.

      The total inability of the German troops in defending against Switzerland's mysterious 'Swiss Army Knife' appears due in part to the Germans' lack of understanding of all the functions of this secret weapon. Reports smuggled out of occupied Germany indicate that the Swiss Army Knife seems to have so many abilities that, no matter what type of defense Germany mounts against them, the Swiss are able to rapidly change their assault tactic to something new and unexpected.

      Rumors from the German front suggest that the Swiss Army Knife might not only be able to cut, but also saw off limbs and open beer bottles.

      In related news, the German S.S. has apparently managed to seize a Swiss Army Knife from their pursuers and has proceeded to open many bottles of beer. Germans everywhere celebrated this small victory by inventing a new holiday they called 'Oktoberfest'.

      To better understand why the German people have so quickly embraced this holiday, this publication will be sending many reporters to the scene to tap into this experience. It is our hope that we can learn more about this Oktoberfest for ourselves.

      Return here for more news on this matter as it becomes available.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3

      The post was edited 3 times, last by Diabolical ().

    • Swiss Juggernaut Crumbles Before Italian Might

      00:45 hours, New York time.

      Great progress, tonight, as Heroic forces of Italy drive back the murderous dogs of Switzerland. The noble Italians -- on a militant mission of mercy to the nation of Germany -- sacked the Swiss from their unprotected southern borders.

      Content in their perceived security high in the Alpine mountains, Swiss officials apparently didn't seem to even notice the Italian monstrosity until it was nearly at their doorsteps. There were no long range scouts giving warnings of the invading tanks. There was no artillery fire nor rockets blazing a fiery herald of an oncoming storm. No, the only warning the people of Zurich received was a series of tremors as the tanks rolled ever onward up the mountain passes.

      By the time the citizens of the Swiss capital realized they were under an attack, the deafening roar of hundreds of tanks was already upon them. There were no calls for defense. There were no calls for retreat. The city fell almost as fast as it woke.

      The tanks of Italy did not stop there. They pressed on, leaving the mess of a bewildered city to the shock troops that furiously followed the motorized columns.

      As captured German citizens -- working in a slave camp at a nearby Swiss cheese factory -- looked onward, the tanks rolled on by. Where were their saviors going? The Italians were not liberators -- no.

      They were conquerors.

      First the French, then the Swiss, and now the Germans; they all continue to fall before Italy.

      Marseille, Bordeaux, Paris, and now Zurich -- all great cities -- have fallen before the might of the great Italian army as it rolls onward to victory.

      We will have more on these amazing events as they unfold.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Diabolical ().

    • Valiant Dragon Breathes Fire in the Battle of Banda Sea

      02:15 hours, New York time.

      Gigantic Naval fleets roar at each other with incredible might and vigor as the navies of five different world powers slug it out in a once-for-all battle for total dominion of the seas in the Pacific Theater of this great world-wide war.

      On one side, three of the main banners of the New China Syndicate valiantly battle in a classic pincer maneuver against the united pacific flags of Oregon and New Zealand. The Chinese allies, fighting with right on their side, have brought a devastating blow to both enemy fleets as those opposing forces staged a daring broadside sweep with a northern feint that failed to draw off their arch nemesis, the Dragon of the Seas -- that much feared Southern Chinese Dragon Fleet.

      Though slow and unwieldy, the Dragon Fleet had finally gotten a confirmed location of the Maori fleet and was on the hunt to bring down this once-mighty and proud fleet. Sensing the presence of their rival -- the New Zealander's Maori Navy -- Admiral Shochen of Southern China called forth the nearby allied forces of Nationalist China and Sumatra. Both on patrol while seeking to expand holdings in Papua New Guinea, these two navies would be pivotal in bringing about the eventual conclusion that must happen.

      Those allied forces, coming in from the southwest, were not the first to face the dreaded enemy fleets, but the Dragon of the Seas shot the first volley in what would eventually become this gargantuan brawl. Not realizing that this was not the Maori fleet, but in fact the elusive Spear of Oregon fleet, the Dragon blindly shot it's fiery breath through the fog of war and lit up a blaze atop Oregon's proudest flagship.

      Seeing how their enemy had finally found them, the Oregonian commander made a plea to a large Destroyer fleet of the Maori navy keeping station to the east. Realizing just how powerful their enemy was, the Oregonian commander convinced the Maori commandant to shift north and try to draw off the Dragon.

      The Dragon's Admiral seemed to hesitate, shifting targets back and forth until finally deciding to send forth one lone brave Destroyer to assess the situation. Upon revealing the Maori feint, Admiral Shochen resolutely ordered that all guns would continue to point at the main target...pleased that he would finally be able to sink this Oregon menace once and for all and score another grimacing win for the Smiling Dragon and her gigantic fleet of Battleships.

      As cannons blazed and bombs exploded on both sides, ships started sinking at a harrowing pace. This was already becoming the greatest naval battle in earth's history. But the Oregon commander had another trick up his sleeve.

      Rather than trying to make his fleet have a smaller cross-section, he turned his entire stock of ships to face the enemy broadside. This strategy would bring even more guns to bear against that champion of China. But while that strategy made them more vulnerable to enemy fire, the wide-cross-sections of the ships convincingly hid the approach of the main Maori fleet coming full speed and threading the needle between the Oregonian ships to make a full charge at the Dragon.

      Sensing the possibility of defeat against a seemingly inferior foe, Admiral Shochen ordered his immense Cruiser fleet to stand apart in front of his Dragon class Battleships to shield his best weapons from a premature death...all the while awaiting the arrival of his allies.

      Then, as more ships sank in the oil-slick waters, cannons aglow with red hot steel swelled with each mammoth cartridge as they sailed effortlessly across the miles from massive cannon to solid steel...exploding with a vengeance akin to a war between the gods of old. Swiftly, yet silently, the Dragon's friends started to arrive.

      First, the pride and joy of Nationalist China's main fleet fired a test volley across the bow of the lead Maori ship...it's captain shocked that a projectile had come from an entirely unobserved direction. Then, as more and more ships came into range, the fresh forces of Nationalist China let release a hail of fire on the already embattled English-speaking navies.

      Just as the Maori fleet commander starts to re-think his exposed strategy, now out in front of the broadsiding Oregon ships, he realized that the fox has been outfoxed. He knows this will be his final battle for nation and honor. His ally, the Oregon commander -- a little more astute at the possibility of enemy forces entering from a new direction, didn't flinch as his guns split in half -- some shooting amid ships and others end to end as they faced their new foes.

      Nationalist China, at first taking few losses, signaled their Southern Chinese cousins that another surprise was in store...hold out long enough and a great victory would be achieved.

      Back and forth, both, sides ground each other up like so much dross in the boiling sea -- food for sharks -- fodder for Davy Jones' Locker. Then, when the smoke in the air was so thick and acrid, and the winds seemingly still enough to create an even worse fog of war, Sumatra finally shows up.

      Now, even more cannons ablaze, the war is fast approaching conclusion. At the time of this writing, the battle has not yet been won. But the absolute certainty of a victor has been all but assured. The Dragon of the Seas and his close allies of the New China Syndicate will dominate the world's oceans long after the salty seas rust their mighty hulks in some distant future.

      Until then, all cheers should be sung for the Dragon and her soon-to-be victorious allies.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Diabolical ().

    • Jefferson Secedes from the Union - Part 1 of 3

      03:45 hours, New York time.

      With the utter collapse of law and order in several "blue state" cities across this once great land, the sentiment of the far left had shifted from semi-active protesting to wanton destruction and then moved on to open and well-organized wholesale rebellion in the form of several disparate leftist militias. Though, across America, these rebels are far outnumbered by those on the right, their disloyalty to all that is right and good has shifted the political balance of America into total and abject chaos.

      As of this morning, American citizens woke up to find that, for all practical purposes, the United States of America -- a unified nation now in name only -- is no more. America the Free has become America the Forlorn. Where peace once reigned now falls the blanket of civil war.

      Yesterday, in Washington D.C., our nation pounded the final nail in its coffin of disunity with the total meltdown of the liberal Democratic caucus of both houses of Congress. While not all of the Democrats in Congress disgraced themselves in the face of this insurrection, a great majority of them did.

      In an attempt to seize control of the United States, the Democratic minority, aligning themselves with the so-called "Millennial Alliance", led an armed takeover of Congress...illegally arresting many Republican and Independent Congressmen, Senators, and their various aids and staff members. With much of the leadership of both the FBI and NSA -- as well as many of the senior staff at the Pentagon -- siding with the Alliance, a sympathetic Supreme Court ordered an unjust warrant for the arrest of President Donald J. Trump.

      The CIA, monitoring the situation and catching wind of this insurrection plot, swiftly dispatched agents from all over the capital region to assist the Secret Service in securing the White House and several principle departments against the rogue FBI and Federal Marshals involved in this coup attempt. However, with most of the local militant Washington D.C. millennials siding with the Democrats and having just taken control of much of the local D.C. police assets, CIA operatives and the Secret Service, though very competent and professional, were woefully outgunned. Furthermore, thanks to interference from the rogue Pentagon officials refusing to obey the Presidential emergency order for Marshal law and subsequent Militia involvement, most of the available Army and Marine forces nearby were not called into the city to take control of the situation until it was too late.

      By the time a detachment of Marines -- operating independently of their traitorous and obstinate senior officers -- reached the besieged White House, President Trump had already been spirited away by private contract forces loyal to the Trump family and operating a small fleet of well-funded and heavily armored helicopters that rescued the President and several members of his cabinet. In an attempt to maintain the functions of the government in the wake of the Presidential departure, the Vice President chose to stay behind in the White House basement bunker. However, he never reached it as rebel forces caught and executed him en route to the bunker.


      ...continued below...
    • Jefferson Secedes from the Union - Part 2 of 3

      03:45 hours, New York time.

      ...continued from above...

      In an unsure environment of disloyalty all around him, President Trump made a bold move that showed his true cunning. Rather than head for Air Force One, the presidential helicopter convoy chose instead to fly directly south to unite with loyalist forces gathering near his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. This was a fortunate decision for him as Air Force One was subsequently bombed on the ground only minutes after his decision to take the southern detour.

      With the legitimacy of his power swiftly waning, in a last ditch effort to keep power out of the hands of the chaotic Democrat rabble and the Millennial Alliance, President Donald J. Trump, in his last official act even to be acknowledged by independent media sources and reported upon across national media venues, wisely turned over control of the nation's various military commands to their local state governors.

      Thus, in an act that only the President of the United States could legally execute, the United States Military has been decentralized and defederalized and the Militias are now in control of their local military assets. As of now, the Pentagon has lost control of the United States military.

      The state of American nuclear assets is still in question but it is believed that the President still controls sole access to the nuclear armament codes. No doubt, the vast numbers of technologically savvy rebel hackers (the "Millennial Hacker Brigade") -- in an attempt to take control of the nuclear fleet -- will likely find a way to accidentally trigger the automatic nuclear response and doom us all to Armageddon.

      In the wake of the increasing violence, right-wing militia separatists -- long having seen this outcome and preparing for years with vast stockpiles of heavy arms -- have begun pulling their own support to form pockets of vigilante-based martial law enforcement of what have recently begun to be called "Patriot Zones".


      ...continued below...

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Razzuria ().

    • Jefferson Secedes from the Union - Part 3 of 3

      03:45 hours, New York time.

      ...continued from above...

      As of 10:00 PM local time, dissidents within the northern half of California, led by the enigmatic militia leader known to the outside world only as "Diabolical", successfully voted to withdraw from the both the State Commonwealth of California as well as the United States of America and -- with a move timed to coincide with their compatriots doing the same in Oregon, chose to form the southern half of a long-sought-after alliance of independent right-wing nations. This move was once hoped to form the so-called 51st state of "Jefferson". Instead, as of tonight, the Jefferson Empire has been formed to unite the various parts of Cascadia under one banner. Though the populations in some of their cities are largely leftist, the militias' well-armed and heavy-handed rule will surely prevail over any leftist rebel Millennial Alliance forces.

      Thus, the Jefferson Empire has been born. Already seeing the righteous power that Diabolical has displayed, several other states have requested to either join the Jefferson Empire or to align with it as independent allies. Though the fate of the United States seems to be all but lost in light of President Trump's failure to take control of the situation, it is believed that Diabolical and his allies will reunite the United States under a new banner...one where the left will never again have the power to influence American society or make law.

      Clearly, the Jefferson Empire is the only true offspring of this conflict to reflect the best of the American way of life and, indeed, the Jefferson Empire should be the legitimate replacement for the United States of America. Thus, to all loyal Americans who have not given their support to the evil Democrats and their wicked Millenial Alliance supporters, this World Herald editor strongly urges you to give your full support and allegiance to the Jefferson Empire.
    • The Europeans Have All Come to America

      The streets of Paris and Berlin are completely deserted. Surely some other great cities like Rome and Cairo, Budapest, Istanbul, Belgrade, Munich, Brussels, even Warsaw and Kiev, sit idle....waiting for the evening music of the local pubs and trattorias to open to the ghosts that once inhabited those long-forlorn cities.

      Vast numbers of denizens of the countryside vanished like mice when a hawk swoops bye...not to be seen whether near or far. No, their populace -- various and innumerable -- now riding transports across the vast sea to a promised land of unspoiled farms and country....a land unlike the wastes of a wrecked earth where Europe once stood proud as a beacon to the world.

      No, the streets of the old world are barren, devoid of life except for the occasional dog, vainly seeking some trace of the home and master that would feed it. It is an old world full of hollow winds echoing against scarred mountainsides and blackened gullies where the remains of half-buried corpses lay unceremoniously cast like so much dredge in the face of onslaught.

      That old world has died. Now those survivors, filled with need and greed look to their long past separated western cousins for a place to live wild and free....a place where these refugees and warriors -- men and women desperate for survival -- can once again set eyes of corruption to tarnish a pristine new world.

      Not caring for their brothers' plight, these trespassers who've abandoned their own homes, now lay siege to the once peaceful shores of a land unlike any other. And yet, soon, once trampled under the boots of war, this new land will resemble the old. And once again, a people -- ravaged by blood and war -- will set sail for yet another land....spreading across the face of the earth like locusts and set to devour whatever they can find.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3
    • Irish Fury Causes Chaos In Antarctica

      In the most reckless display of aggression ever seen to this world, the Irish Prime Minister Declares war on every country to lay foot on the southern state. As the world reels from the discovery of the discovery of former ruling party of Germany on the snowy desolate land of the south, Many countries ridicule the foolish actions of the state, others prepare for war against a potentially dangerous foe. As morale dips everywhere in the south, the war has yet to see it worst days.

      A spokesperson from the Canadian government stated that "Never before has there been such an enemy. One who does not have any logic is a dangerous foe and must be eradicated quickly. " All other countries refused to reply to our request of an interview.

      "White Fang knew the law well: To oppress the weak and obey the strong"
      Jack London, White Fang

      My parents once told me not to play with matches, so I built a flamethrower
    • (this is a sting over a day)

      Anonymous, 21:06
      Romanian Invasion
      Sources indicate Romania is leading a force of 4 infantry to invade Hungary and Slovakia.


      Anonymous, 21:16
      That;s a small "Force" XD


      Edit
      Anonymous, 11:08
      Romanian invasion correction
      My source apologizes for the bad info. Romania actually has 1 infantry and 3 militia. Not 4 infantry as previously reported.
      Report Article
      Romania - Official government communiqué, 09:14



      Hungary has forced its entire population to serve as soldiers

      WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS ACT OF NOT DYING!!!


      Also 4 infantry is 7500 men

      Anonymous, 11:08
      Romanian invasion correction
      My source apologizes for the bad info. Romania actually has 1 infantry and 3 militia. Not 4 infantry as previously reported.




      We have captured a UK spy damaging government property this has been seen as a aggressive cold war attack and will be dealt with with lukewarm war!

      oh and to the family of the spy don't ask there's nothing left of him





      UK Denies Spy Claim

      This claim by Romania is obnoxious. The UK denies any spies in Romanian territory.
      Report Article
      Romania - Official government communiqué, 15:22

      Romania - Official government communiqué, 15:29


      Romania requests something to do with all this charred mush that apparently wasn't a spy



      Romania - Official government communiqué, 15:52


      The not war has ended when romenia retunded the not spy mush

      and romania now seeks an alliance with the white army


      Nationalist China - Official government communiqué, 16:03


      A mistranslation in the romanian newspaper

      The words you were looking for are "I just now realized how screwed I am against UK France and Turkey


      Romania - Official government communiqué, 16:39




      Umm no I was already allied with turkey and germany was allied with france but maybe you want proof so us six will be bye with a lot of guns if you still don't believe me



      Weak romania hides behind stronger nations
      If you want war, then it will be because of your insanity. Then we'll see if your "allies" will bail you out for such aggressions
      Report Article
      Nationalist China - Official government communiqué, 16:30




      What?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!? LAMO



      (rolplay died do to the guy just being a jerk)
    • .Cerberus. wrote:

      Romania requests something to do with all this charred mush that apparently wasn't a spy
      The one really funny line in that whole exchange. :P
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3
    • Chinese Bomber Crashes


      At 2:03 PM a Tu-4 Bull of Chinese Bomber Wing 21 crashed on a training mission. Captain Sum-Sing-Wong, co-pilot Wi-Tu-Lo, and gunner Bing-Ding-Ow were killed in the crash, but American trainer Anita Caste survived with only a broken leg.
      Forum Gang Mascot
      Girls game too


      dxcalc.com/cow
    • This reminds me of the pranked Asiana Flight 214 crash report given over the air on a San Francisco news program. Though the crash was real, the names given were planted by a prankster and those names actually passed inspection either by the NTSB or FCC before getting reported.

      The reported pilots were:
      • Captain Sum Ting Wong
      • Wi Tu Lo
      • Ho Lee Fuk
      • Bang Ding Ow
      But I really like your variant with the American trainer. That's cool. :)


      Here is the original video.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3
    • Diabolical wrote:

      This reminds me of the pranked Asiana Flight 214 crash report given over the air on a San Francisco news program. Though the crash was real, the names given were planted by a prankster and those names actually passed inspection either by the NTSB or FCC before getting reported.

      The reported pilots were:
      • Captain Sum Ting Wong
      • Wi Tu Lo
      • Ho Lee Fuk
      • Bang Ding Ow
      But I really like your variant with the American trainer. That's cool. :)


      Here is the original video.
      Yep, that's what I got it from. 8o
      Forum Gang Mascot
      Girls game too


      dxcalc.com/cow
    • Italian Rampage
      As the Germans advance through Europe, the Italians suddenly, in a display of random military might and luck, seize control of the southern states of Africa. it is yet still unknown where the Italians amassed such an army, as they were last driven out of Egypt early in the war.
      "White Fang knew the law well: To oppress the weak and obey the strong"
      Jack London, White Fang

      My parents once told me not to play with matches, so I built a flamethrower
    • (This is after I fire a nuke rocket to London)
      Rocket Launch



      I have launched a rocket carrying a nuclear reactor to the moon, I intend to be the first country to put one there.
      I'm doing this not because it's easy, but because it is hard.


      (Follow up post)

      Indeed it is Hard


      While passing over London the rocket lost power, people of London keep your eyes peeled for that rocket (if you still have eyes).
      Forum Gang Mascot
      Girls game too


      dxcalc.com/cow
    • NOTE: This story was only added after my posted requirements were met (my first post in this thread had to receive at least 5 likes). That has finally occurred after nearly 2 years.

      This story is rated-S for "Strange".

      This is not for young readers nor for college students in a free speech safe zone...nor for anyone else on the political left...or on the right.

      Heck, this isn't for anyone.

      This story is pure satire from an idealized (barf) view of a "happy Nazi" (double barf) who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. Again, I say it is satire and meant strictly for laughs. Do not view this if you can't take a joke. And if you are not sure of whom I am referring too when I say "can't take a joke", then I mean you!

      (...you have been warned...)

      Display Spoiler


      An Interlude in the War

      (This is a scene with dreamy landscapes in the background.)

      Imagine a world where cheerful Nazis go to the rescue of the downtrodden -- a world where the Nazis and the Jews walk hand in hand in perfect harmony.

      Luscious flowers bloom in fields across the land as machine guns spit out little pellets of food to feed small woodland creatures. And further afield, warplanes carry music bombs to drop on the listless peoples far away to give them the tranquil tones of happy children singing hymns of joy and praise.

      Young girls -- adorned with mellow shades of lavender and pink -- dance wistfully under the glowing morning sunshine. Their ever-watchful older sisters -- proper and prim in their frilly Victorian white frocks -- gaze cloyingly across the meadow at the handsome young lad trying in vain to ride his horse like a gentleman. Painfully falling on his rump, the young man sheepishly tries to hide his embarrassment at the women who now show gentle signs of astonishment.

      One young woman -- leaping gracefully like a gazelle across the savanna -- charges purposefully towards the youth. As she approaches closer, his heart stirs -- skipping a beat with every leap she makes in her loose dress. Images of them together growing old tease the back of his mind as his fantasies are walking hand in hand with her along a gentle mountain stream. Imagination leads them to an old watermill being used as a peaceful Nazi Wehrmacht outpost where German courtesans invite them to a light luncheon with biscuits and tea.

      The young woman -- breathing hard from her rush across the field -- disturbs the boy's fantasies as she approaches. His face aflush with desire, the boy reaches up to her as she kneels over him and pulls her down close enough to surprise her with a kiss. Astonished by his alacrity of boldness and hormones, she did not pull away but instead caressed his tousled hair as he drew her closer to the ground. His kiss -- a fleeting moment of fancy -- was reciprocated with another -- now longer and more passionate. Their attraction -- though obvious before -- has now been confirmed. These two young lovers would find hope and joy in each other for years to come.

      Meanwhile, from their cannons, Nazi Panzers spray foamy champagne across the land -- drenching all peoples with spirited celebration as peace reigns supreme among the vistas of happy children with their smiling grandparents. Whole families -- dancing to the sounds of factories churning out more lovely war machines -- continue to sing songs of joy as their happy Fuhrer skips along to an unknown melody playing in his head. The smokestacks of life camps spread the charming smells of baking sweetbreads for the celebration as love victoriously reigns in the hearts of one and all.

      Oh what a happy world it is.




      Oh, and when you are done vomiting all over yourself, be sure to add your comment, below.
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Diabolical ().