Mock Presidential Race!

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    • Quasi-duck wrote:

      If you vote for me, I will make the other candidates build a 1 meter high cinder-block wall through the Rockies to see how dumb their plan is.
      I like McSquiggles wall idea better...it's tall...not small.

      one meter high. That will never sell in 'Murica since we ain't usin that commie b.s. metric system.

      I would want MY WALL to be 30 FEET TALL. Maybe 50 FEET TALL.

      But, if I were running for president, I'd offer a cheaper solution.

      Let's just build a gigantic trench...a moat along the southern and northern borders. The Pacific, Atlantic, and Gulf waters are already gigantic moats. And the Rio Grande is like a moat.

      So...let's just dig a deep -- and CHEAP -- trench (moving earth, no concrete or careful measurements required. Just a bunch of shovels and maybe a few backhoes. Finish the ends last so you can let the seawater flow in.

      A question, BTW, does using a spoiler constitute "staying within the bounds of conduct" in the forums? I think it ought to -- with a disclaimer. Just saying.

      DISCLAIMER
      Don't click on the spoiler unless you have a tolerance for "derogatory" terminology. You have been warned. I'm a Christian, and I would never want to wantonly use anything that is mentioned in the spoiler.

      Display Spoiler

      Be sure to make it deep on both the Mexican and Canadian sides. Then, we can call the illegal Canadians "Canadians - edited out for racist comment".

      (Those sad Mexicans are tired of being the only ones called that.)


      On the other hand, if -- instead of filling in the trench -- we left it empty, yet still very deep, then it could be like a wall, just an upside-down wall.

      Display Spoiler

      (I really hope that "Canadians - edited out for racist comment" comment isn't considered "bad" by the mods...I've heard a few folks who seem to think it's controversial, but I've never really gotten any proof of that. There's some derogatory terms that would be considered too nasty for CoW, but that one isn't on the list, I think. In fact, I would imagine that most of the English speaking world doesn't even know what a "Canadians - edited out for racist comment" is, nor the misused portion of "Being clean is healthy", nor the traditional name for Brazil nuts, nor the unfortunately appropriate-sounding derogatory term for Japanese that is surprisingly similar to their own name for Japan in Japanese based loosely on that old fashioned phrase, "Japanese are lovely people".

      I won't point out which portions of those are the misused portions, but I'll leave it to your imaginations. It's not like I'm trying to offend anyone, but you can't educate people about what is currently considered to be derogatory without using the derogatory term. Oh, and I apologize to anyone who actually is offended thus far since it really isn't my intent. Trust me, I've heard a lot of derogatory remarks (including some nasty ones geared in my direction) and I would never want to repeat them here, or anywhere (like the Brazil nut one).)
      It seemed like such a waste to destroy an entire battle station just to eliminate one man. But Charlie knew that it was the only way to ensure the absolute and total destruction of Quasi-duck, once and for all.

      The saying, "beating them into submission until payday", is just golden...pun intended.

      R.I.P. Snickers <3

      The post was edited 1 time, last by StrangeTalent ().

    • Sir McSquiggles wrote:

      Name: Sir McSquiggles
      Party: Republican
      Address to issue

      Economy: Build a giant wall

      National Security: WALL!

      Immigration: An even bigger wall!

      Military: Firewall!

      Abortion: Wall!(Now, use your imagination kiddos!

      Gun Control: We keep the guns, but build a wall to protect people.

      Okay, time to face the truth fellas. America is a mess! We have illegals roaming the streets murdering and dealing drugs here! We also have the threat of ISIS sneaking into our country! Along with a trillion dollar debt! We are losing our jobs to China! The American people are great, just lovely people. Awesome people. I can help fix this up. Its what I do! These people in congress, they only want to make america worse. I'm here to make it great again! We are going to make a wall! A nice wall. A fantastic wall. And make those around us pay for it! Thats right! Make Mexico, ISIS, even Canada pay for this wall! This is the issue to our problems! We can monitor anyone who is coming in and out! This will stop all of our major issues plaguing this beautiful country. This is a great idea. Let us take back our country!! Lets make America great again!
      Being a hard core Conservative like youself, the one thing I think Republicans get wrong (one of the many things)
      Is the wall, and border patrol. It does nothing, its stupid, and doesnt work.

      How come there is no immigration with canada?
      need to fix Mexico's economy, incourage investment in there,

      a wall wont do anything, unless its "the wall" from Game of thrones, and the Nights watch are on guard, then maybe it can stop the mexicans..



      If Socialists understood Economics, they wouldn't be socialists
      -Friedrich von Haye


    • oceanhawk wrote:

      Sir McSquiggles wrote:

      Name: Sir McSquiggles
      Party: Republican
      Address to issue

      Economy: Build a giant wall

      National Security: WALL!

      Immigration: An even bigger wall!

      Military: Firewall!

      Abortion: Wall!(Now, use your imagination kiddos!

      Gun Control: We keep the guns, but build a wall to protect people.

      Okay, time to face the truth fellas. America is a mess! We have illegals roaming the streets murdering and dealing drugs here! We also have the threat of ISIS sneaking into our country! Along with a trillion dollar debt! We are losing our jobs to China! The American people are great, just lovely people. Awesome people. I can help fix this up. Its what I do! These people in congress, they only want to make america worse. I'm here to make it great again! We are going to make a wall! A nice wall. A fantastic wall. And make those around us pay for it! Thats right! Make Mexico, ISIS, even Canada pay for this wall! This is the issue to our problems! We can monitor anyone who is coming in and out! This will stop all of our major issues plaguing this beautiful country. This is a great idea. Let us take back our country!! Lets make America great again!
      Being a hard core Conservative like youself, the one thing I think Republicans get wrong (one of the many things)Is the wall, and border patrol. It does nothing, its stupid, and doesnt work.

      How come there is no immigration with canada?
      need to fix Mexico's economy, incourage investment in there,

      a wall wont do anything, unless its "the wall" from Game of thrones, and the Nights watch are on guard, then maybe it can stop the mexicans..
      Yes! It was be a giant wall! A lovely wall! Its gonna be HUGGEEEE. And yes, there may be a Nights watch ;)
    • Sir McSquiggles wrote:

      oceanhawk wrote:

      Sir McSquiggles wrote:

      Name: Sir McSquiggles
      Party: Republican
      Address to issue

      Economy: Build a giant wall

      National Security: WALL!

      Immigration: An even bigger wall!

      Military: Firewall!

      Abortion: Wall!(Now, use your imagination kiddos!

      Gun Control: We keep the guns, but build a wall to protect people.

      Okay, time to face the truth fellas. America is a mess! We have illegals roaming the streets murdering and dealing drugs here! We also have the threat of ISIS sneaking into our country! Along with a trillion dollar debt! We are losing our jobs to China! The American people are great, just lovely people. Awesome people. I can help fix this up. Its what I do! These people in congress, they only want to make america worse. I'm here to make it great again! We are going to make a wall! A nice wall. A fantastic wall. And make those around us pay for it! Thats right! Make Mexico, ISIS, even Canada pay for this wall! This is the issue to our problems! We can monitor anyone who is coming in and out! This will stop all of our major issues plaguing this beautiful country. This is a great idea. Let us take back our country!! Lets make America great again!
      Being a hard core Conservative like youself, the one thing I think Republicans get wrong (one of the many things)Is the wall, and border patrol. It does nothing, its stupid, and doesnt work.
      How come there is no immigration with canada?
      need to fix Mexico's economy, incourage investment in there,

      a wall wont do anything, unless its "the wall" from Game of thrones, and the Nights watch are on guard, then maybe it can stop the mexicans..
      Yes! It was be a giant wall! A lovely wall! Its gonna be HUGGEEEE. And yes, there may be a Nights watch ;)
      If the nights watch are there, nothing hall pass



      Vote Squiggles !



      If Socialists understood Economics, they wouldn't be socialists
      -Friedrich von Haye


    • GreatbigHippo wrote:

      The wall with the nights watch will be very expensive. It will be much cheaper to stabilize Mexico. Vote for me and I will do just that, and end immigration.
      Or we can put the entire US army along the border and shoot anybody that tries to cross. That'll work.
      still wont, what about tunnels and the water..

      but you are right, wall isnt great idea


      and john snow is a little busy at the moment hahaha



      If Socialists understood Economics, they wouldn't be socialists
      -Friedrich von Haye


    • GreatbigHippo wrote:

      The wall with the nights watch will be very expensive. It will be much cheaper to stabilize Mexico. Vote for me and I will do just that, and end immigration.
      Or we can put the entire US army along the border and shoot anybody that tries to cross. That'll work.
      We've tried to stable mexico for years! That doesnt work. Its not up to us to do their job for them. The wall isnt an entirely bad idea. The overall protection will be worth the costs. We will make LEGAL immigration easier for those who actually want to come here for a better life.
    • Well, I am from germany, so I don't know every american problems and how americans want to deal with it. But I'll try.

      Name: HUNDmiau
      Party: Independant
      Address to Issues:

      Economy: I will make sure that buisnesses who interact with rare ressources and the ressources itself, like oil, coal or uranium, are collectivated and given to the gouvernment. These ressources can't be subject of making a few rich. They are too important to not be used with respect and with caution. We can't let the rich take these ressources without thinking about needs and envrioment. And because these ressources are owned by everyone, each citizen will get a fair part of the income created with these ressources, mostly through trade. Other companys are overtaken by worker. So the worker decide how they should do their job, and not some guy in a chairs with no idea about the actual work. And in general, a country can live without making money. It should make the people happy, and not fill its pockets.

      National Security: We have to take a lot of power away from the police. Right now, they can do whatever they want and don't even have to face consequences. National Security is not more important than freedom and human rights. So the NSA will stop its world wide recording of nearly all citizens of this world. Also, the PATRIOTS ACT will be abolished completely. We can't fight terrorism when we act like terrorists attacking human rights. The war on terrorism will be stopped as well and seen as a failure. We created more terrorism, not less. The war on drugs will be stopped and seen as a failure as well. We creadet more death and misfortune than any drug could ever do.


      Immigration: Nearly free immigration. Only wanted criminals, who are wanted for things, that are considered illegal in the US as well. In order to stop mass immigration from mexico, we will try to boost their economy and help them fighting corruption and poverty.


      Military: The military budget will be cut by 2/3. We don't need all this money in our military. We will focus most budget left on defense. We will no longer operate as a world police. We will only help countrys military if we are asked and if it helps the citizens as well. So no help for dictatorships fighting rebels.


      Abortion: A woman has the right to abort.


      Gun control: You have to register in order to buy weapons. Only hand-guns and bolt-action rifles. Everything else needs a special license.

      Drugs: No natural drug will be illegal, but they will be controlled for purity and danger by the gouvernment. Only shops by the gouvnernment will be allowed to sell these drugs.

      If you have more questions, ask me.
    • HUNDMiau wrote:

      "Only wanted criminals, who are wanted for things, .. "
      10/10


      i'd vote for ya
      yo, what did the pirate say to the parrot? ... he said, ARRR you y- i'm a cracker..? ahem.. s-sorry.. i'm not.. uh.. very *good* with uh.. y'know jokes. I don't know .. um, yeah i guess i uh... will just give you a quote! yeah.. thats what i'll do.. a quote..

      ahem.. here's the quote:

      "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." :00000450:
    • Quasi-duck wrote:

      Why am I not on the poll?
      A revolution is not necessary for the moment.


      "I came, I saw, I conquered" Written in a report to Rome 47 B.C., after conquering Pharnaces at Zela in Asia Minor in just five days; as quoted in Life of Caesar by Plutarch; reported to have been inscribed on one of the decorated wagons in the Pontic triumph, in Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Julius, by Suetonius.


      "Alea iacta est" Gaius Julius Caesar.